Amongst the Stars

I just felt in the mood to write tonight. I'm not sure why, being that I haven't done it in a while. But it just felt like the time.

I may have lost my job this week. Not exactly sure how that happened, but we'll see by tomorrow. Yet even as scary as that prospect is - not having a job after 6 months of having one - I'm strangely unafraid.

I've been through so much this past year, heck these past six months that something like this doesn't really phase me. I would like to think it's because I've grown stronger.

Well and also that during these past few weeks I have been trying to build up to a steady belief. I may not like organized religion and I may not want to go to church every sunday but I think sometimes a little faith is what the doctor orders.

So I'm trying to have some faith. I believe that when school starts near the middle of this month, that it'll be easier for me to get a job because of all the people either leaving to go back to school or the people cutting back on hours because of school. This comforts me to acknowledge - still I am not completely without nerves or fear. I don't want this process to take me a long time and I can't in fact afford that.

But instead of looking at this like a hurdle to jump over or a river to cross, I'm trying to look at it like a blessing or a fresh start. I never particularly loved working at the deli. Sure it was a good job, and the people were nice, but I rarely made enough hours to have the extra money I've always needed and craved. This change could be good for me. I've already changed living arrangements and moved into a three bedroom with my sis and bestie, and now I have a chance to change something else in my life.

Work will never be glamourous, at least at my age and education level, but no one said I couldn't try to have a little fun here and there with my jobs. I've been working at uniformed-low pay-service jobs since I started earning money. If I can do it (and don't worry I'm not stupid enough to pass up a job opportunity no matter the low end of the stick) I would like to try and submit my applications into places I might actually be able to stand for more than 6 months.

Speaking of my living arrangements...these past few days have been nice. I've had the week off for the most part (now I know why...heh.) and I've been using them to spend time with the people I love. We've been playing video games, enjoying nice dinners, having a drink or two and it's been a BLAST. I'm feeling like for the first time in a while we're connecting all together.

The romance department is still as empty as ever. Though, I'm holding a piece of my heart for one of the guys I've fallen for over the past several months - he's not in the right place emotionally or geographically to do anything about it. We flirted heavily in high school and over time recently have begun to pick things up again, but he doesn't believe in long-distance relationships and so alas, I have to wait a year before he moves up to L-Town.

It may be too early in my life to tell, but I think this one's special. He may even be the one. Something in my heart tells me we're destined to at least be in a relationship. Some love stories aren't epic novels; some are short stories - but that doesn't make them any less filled with love. As Carrie Bradshaw would say.

A lot of exciting things are planned for this year though, to keep me busy. I'm starting a book club with one of my close friends, I'm going to finally be able to see all the seasons of Sex and the City, one of my favorite television shows (Supernatural, duh) is premiering in September, and I'll be in school as well. So yes, lots of things to keep me busy.

My sister's 22nd (god that makes me feel old) birthday is this month, and we're planning a FABULOUS party for her. The cake alone, which costs $40 by the way, is soooo Boss.

In the meantime, wish me luck on my job search, keep me in your hearts and minds and I shall do the same of you all.

That's all.

Signed,

A Fabulous Gay Man,

Queen Trixie J.D. the First