The Dating Game

The dating game. What is it? Who is in it? What do you do when you are one of those in it?

I don't know the answer to these questions. But I would like to know. I think.

How do you let people know that you're in the dating game?

Well, to me it's not a game - I just use the term because it's what people do.

I ask these questions because I went on a date tonight. It was a blind date - and ok, I know those are usually bad news. You don't have to be in the dating 'game' to know that. But it wasn't actually that bad.

Well, it wouldn't have been except that he is in his 40's. I don't mention his exact number because a gay man, much like a lady, never reveals his age. And if he does, on a blind date, then the datee can't reveal that age on the internet.

He's nice and kind and attractive (for an older gentlemen.) He made me feel good about myself, which is unusual for a first date (at leas the one's I've experienced.) I gave him a hug goodbye and that was the end of it.

We didn't exchange numbers, we didn't make plans...that was just...it.

But it got me thinking. I'm 19 and I haven't dated a lot. I've been on two dates total in my entire life thus far. Each one was...well...unique. I thought with the second one that I had something, but it turned out to be a fluke. I've fallen for guys I've already known and been friends with, but never actually had a date.

What is that about anyway? How do you get dates?

First of all, I will be pretentious and say I refuse to go to a dance club and ask someone out on a date. That's just not me. I am ok with being approached but not approaching at a dance club. Most gay men at the dance club I frequent, are self-absorbed or too gun shy to do anything. And even if they aren't gun shy, they're horny and looking for a one-time thing. That's not what I want.

I want to date. You know the whole 'coffee-at 7-movies-at 10-dinner and or drinks afterwards' kind of thing. On more than one occasion...with the same person. That seems to be an impossible thing to get at my age, and geographical location. Why is that? Why aren't more guys wanting to date?

After my date I went home and got on my computer. I was looking for more than the date had to offer, and so I logged on to gay.com - after going into the chat room (that I've been in a million times) and seeing who was online (the same people who are always on) I gave up hope. I signed on to two other dating sites that I'm involved with.

Nothing. Nada. The big Goose Egg.

A friend of mine told me that craigslist is where it's at for L-town. Now, let me tell you that I loathe the words 'craigslist' when I see them - because it's a trashy site used for trashy things. But my dating thirst for knowledge had me on a quest.

I quickly found out that craigslist is not really for 'dating' but for sex in the L-town area.

So I find myself at a loss. Are all the like-minded men where I live, in hiding? And if so, where are they hiding?

I'm finding that the dating game, is a lot harder than it looks.

That's all.

-J-